This creative outlet, photography, has been a wild ride. I suppose what we are most drawn to do always is, right? The full story is too long to share, but even in the past two years of loving photography more than ever it's been this wrestling-it-out process. While I was photographing this mum's birth though, something clicked. Capturing that miracle moment of life being birthed was the catalyst to a lot of the work you see on my site today. I don't really know why but I'm extremely thankful for being part of that day and this families life!
Here is Kathryn, a beautiful soul who moved here, to the states, nearly five years ago from England to be with her love. And now they have a beautiful Freya.
Tell me a little about your lifestyle.
I am a tea drinking, wellington boot wearing English girl lost in Nashville. Lost in loving a gorgeous sunshine haired girl, my irrepressible bear of a husband and some possibly crazy but undeniably glorious human beings I call friends. I believe my family to be the some of the greatest treasure I have. I am a book loving, paper and pen type of girl yielded to the world of facetime and technology so I can watch my nephews' first steps, so that my family can witness my daughter's ever blossoming personality, and so I can keep my sisters up to the wee hours talking life and love and nonsense. I am learning to love and be loved by infinite love. I think people are brilliant. I love people's crazy, everybody has a secret crazy and it's my literal joy to discover it. I still delight in every rainy day; and I definitely still cannot believe that my british fair skinned daughter will actually have an american passport.
I often struggle to reconcile dreams that I had pre-motherhood with post-motherhood. What are you wrestling to find time for?
Anybody who knows me will know that me and time are always wrestling, ha…but seriously I have dreams of so many things. I just want to live out my passions; to know that I do the things I believe in. I am passionate about people, about family, about justice, compassion and love. I relish creativity and spontaneity. But I know all these things look different in every season. Right now that looks like my little family. However recently I have been thinking a lot about me being me, whilst also being a mum and a wife. For instance I used to be a dancer but I haven’t danced for a couple of years, I have been feeling like I need restore my confidence and reignite that love of mine again. I also feel the tension between my focus on my family and other passions in my heart, like my compassion for vulnerable women and children. Its hard to know how to pursue that whilst also being a mum.
Share a funny or honest or sobering moment when something happened that put you way outside your comfort zone.
Every time I have walked out the house thinking life was beautiful and then realising that yes, I am conspicuously covered in the remnants of some food Freya ate earlier that day. I guess that's why no other colour, apart from actual black, will ever be the new black when you are a mother.
Expectation vs. Reality: Share a time when these were awfully unbalanced.
I remember readying myself before I had Freya for this instant thunderbolt of love with her name on it as soon as I saw her. Of course I did love her but a feeling I didn't expect was the complete awe. She was perfection and honestly the most divine thing I had ever seen. I remember one night confiding to my mum; "Mum, I'm not sure I can love her enough". Could such perfection be loved enough by me? And then the magic happened; every day I woke up and I loved her more. I realised motherhood is its own romance. Your heart is captured daily. Being a mother is about falling in love a little more every day. Now I love her so hard and so deep; it was never a sudden thunderbolt but a constant river. Yesterday as Freya was twirling spaghetti over her head and executing a perfect lasso before she flung it across the room, I thought, life must be pretty perfect for you; you just splattered pesto all over my wall and I just loved you more.
What do you hope your children know about you? and/or What do you hope to impart to your children?
I hope my children know that I love them outrageously. I hope they know that love takes courage and I hope they find that in our home. I hope that when they think of mummy, they think of laughing and cuddles and hearts full. I hope they know they have a voice that should be spoken loud and clear, that they add something special to life that nobody else can. I hope kindness runs through their veins, joy shines out of their eyes and that adventure is in their souls. I hope they love drinking tea and eating scones. I hope my girls love my favourite books. I hope that miraculously their little mouths would speak in a british accent and actually pronounce their ts. And currently I hope to impart to freya the very sound truth that, pulling somebody's hair in the morning is never a good way to wake up anyone.
What have you done in the past week that you are proud of?
I wrote an actual real letter on actual real paper, and I booked a ticket home to England for me and Freya. The idea of flying home alone with Freya is so daunting to me, but I have my eyes fixed on glorious cousin meetings, aunty kisses and mamma and granddad squeezes.
Is there another Ma in Nashville that inspires you? Who?
All mothers inspire me; since having Freya I cannot help but think women are just completely magnificent. Although she is not in Nashville, my own mum is my constant inspiration. After having Freya I suddenly realised that my whole life she was teaching me what it was to be a mother. I think that is what great motherhood is, storing up wealth for your children to parent their children. In having my mum in my life I was lucky, but so is Freya; my mum made me the mum I am.